Just Freak Out, Let It Go!

YES! To get into my mood, listen to Avril Lavigne – Freak Out (From: Under My Skin)
Why? 2008 is coming, its just around the corner, and I decided that its gonna be awesome.
I’m gonna live it the way I want, WHERE I WANT, and whenever I want. Its gonna be LEGENDARY (quote: Barney, How I Met Your Mother) and I will “walk around with my hands up in the air, cuz I don’t care”… Watch me SHINE!!

So, whats the big deal? I’ll tell ya… 2007 was just a really BIG pile of crap on my head, nothing went right in that year, trust me on that, NOTHING! It wasn’t a happy year for almost everyone I know, and believe me, I know ALOT of people.

So, I have decided that… 2008 will never be as shitty as 2007, NEVER EVER!
I will start making the rules from now on, its all about me now. The world will revolve around ME… Just wait and watch…

I’ll be alright, I’ll be fine, once I leave this country once and for good. Ukraine, i really REALLY REALLY HATE YOU! I think I’m gonna start some facebook group called iHateUkraine

And thats about it, short, nice, to the point, and easy…

My Music Is MINE!!

Sometimes I like to keep some things personal, to myself, and only me. We all do, but I take it a little bit further than other people, and others frequently find it rude.

The biggest example I can give is my music, often people get a grip of what I consider one of my most personal things ever, my Walkman, yes my mp3 player, and what’s the first comment I get on the 19Gb of metal in it? You have an awful taste of music!! I got that ALOT, and who are you to judge my taste of music??!! Some other times, I got: “You have a weird music collection” because its 95% metal, then out of no where you find 1 Giga of Arabic, Reggae, and even Hip Hop!!!

Another expression I get from “fellow metal fans” is, what the hell is that DJ Unk/Timbaland/DJ Khaled/Army Of One/Elissa song doing in your player?
Well, I guess i DO LISTEN to it… Get over it, I do!!!

Why do I consider it personal? Because my music is personal to me. I’m a proud metalhead, but I also listen to some reggaeton, and actually, some Arabic music (although I hate it, but I can’t totally ignore it, I like a couple of songs now and then) and about hiphop or rap, its just some songs that I have good memories with, thats all.

And you know what, I don’t need to justify anything to anyone. If you think I have a horrible taste of music, then I do… WHO CARES!!
All I know is that I am a music freak, music is my life to an extent you wont imagine, and I got my own band.

Yeah I can be a casual listener of anything, but my real music moment is like the time before I go to sleep, I reach to my Walkman and the headphones, and play the song thats stuck to in my head at that moment while my eyes are closed, whether its metal, arabic, rap, or even house, I just play it, enjoy my moment, and thats it.

Take a word from a metalhead, when it comes to me, screw everyone…
Something I learned from Ukraine living here, even though its been only 2 months, but believe me, every minute counts…

People are suddenly toooooo friendly!!!

Don’t you hate it? I personally do.. I find it really weird, when someone I barely know starts being friendly all of a sudden, or starts saying “hi” too much!
Today, this guy comes over, apparently he’s my silly room-mate’s guest, I’ve seen him 3 times in my life, and never talked to him. He comes, ignores my room-mate, and starts talking to me while I’m busy online.
He starts asking me about how I’m doing in Ukraine, how’s life, and offering me his help with studies, telling me he has a gazillion movies that I could take any time I want from his room, he even gave me his room number (which is currently saved in my memory as “Bla Bla Bla”, 2 hours after the incident).
He doesn’t stop there. He starts telling me how much he loves my country (which is apparently not his) and telling me how to hack the hostel server to download movies in 12 minutes, he even went to asking me about my Dell notebook’s specs!!!

I mean, come on!! Isn’t he really that bored to have a half-hour conversation with some random person that is clearly NOT interested in the conversation, nor even replying properly to him. All I said was “hmmm… yeah… oh?… ahhh, aiwa… hmmm”

Other than the fact that i barely held myself from laughing, because I just watched a Jeff Dunham show where he was making fun of people with lazy eyes, and here comes a true-life example of lazy eyes, that is way too friendly for me!!! (I know its rude, but I had to mention it, it happened!!!)

But I still don’t get it!!!

Chillaxing Time!!

Its the 3rd day of Eid Al Adha, and I can’t understand why I’m so pressurized. I just can’t get it. But it happens, especially that I was used to be really active in this time of the year, because our winter back home isn’t so harsh, and its Eid!!

Unlike now, I’m a bed-potato (I don’t have a couch in my room, so technically can’t be a couch potato) and with another weekend arriving, and me pre-knowing its gonna be no different from that last 10 weekends, with basically nothing new, I really wanna sit back, relax, listen to some chilling music, which is probably kinda old (giving up on metal for a couple of days won’t hurt) and do NOTHING…

I really need to do nothing. I had a project I had to work on, to customize an HP notebook, but it can wait (screw clients) and I had an exam at university on SATURDAY (the weekend!!), which i postponed to next week (yes apparently in Ukraine, we can do that!).
No designs, no medicine studies, no touching the guitar, no thinking, just me, myself, and my lousy room mate (whom I am seriously going to kill if he doesn’t back off soon)

And now, no writing no blog. So peace for a couple of days, and with the start of next week pain shall be inflicted on all of us once again… Happy weekend people, and Merry Christmas for all Christians out there.

I’m Overloaded!!

Not knowing what’s gonna happen next is the worst feeling one can get.
Its been 2 weeks, and I’ve been ditching too many lectures at University, because of many things going around. Personal life, and decisions that I have to make about too fucking many things, putting my brain on duty 24/6… This just feels like crap.

I’m in the cursing mood right now, I just don’t know when this will end! I can’t even speak about it, because everyone else around me is living somehow the same shit, but they’re getting along with it, but for me, the case is different… I’m positive I wanna get rid of this shit, but to them, its just something happening and it was their own choice in the first place.

I don’t feel like studying, eating, playing, or doing anything, simple because I can’t do either properly… It just isn’t working…
I don’t like to be specific about what I’m writing about, you can just apply it to whatever is happening to you, it will work.

Now I just feel like lying down, doing nothing, listening to Elissa’s new CD (Ayami Beek) which isn’t amazing like Bastannak, but isn’t bad at all… You should give it a try.
My freaking annoying room mate is here now, and he’s just spoiling my moment, every single time…
Adieus Amigos… time to loose track of time… (where’s my Milka chocolate???) :@

The Ironically Weird Day: 11/12/07

Its funny how someone’s world can change with a word spoken from someone, specially if this person is important to oneself. But whats also funny, how the human brain is so naive that you can actually mock it!

Lets take my example, I was deeply depressed, and I posted a whole post about that earlier, and then, with one word, I’m the happiest man on earth! (True story)…

My words turned from f**k this $#!@ screw life I hate everyone, to “Its gonna be LEGEN …. (wait for it.., wait for it.., wait for it…) DARY –LEGENDARY!!!”

And all of that because of a word/expression/confession/or realization of some truth. And that same brain, 2 minutes ago was hoping for the sudden death option! Thats whats makes relationships between humans unique, and makes people’s lives weirdly manipulative, because a word could control you.

I’m not under-estimating the power of the word, but I realized how funny its control has been over people. I am not ignoring its importance though, because sometimes, a person needs one word to move on, and thats what I got!

I guess I’m a moody type of person today, and I don’t like it much, but hey, if life’s gonna be like this past hour all the time, I’m in!!!

This was a day arranged by God to be the worst AND best day of my life, combined, and trust me, its not a good cocktail though…

Life’s Screw-Ups Extend to Today…

I just had a very hard day of depression, and I really needed to take this out somehow, but a thought brought another, and I ended up with a general question running around in my mind, till it got me crazy, and I started running around too, and blabbering weird meaningless shit with a friend, who, weirdly, had the power to sustain a whole 2-hour conversation with me (thx Mustaffffyy). Made me forget some of the shit I bared, but soon enough it all came back.

Anyway, this post has to do with something personal, some issues that are not to be posted, but never the less, it can be taken generally, the question is:
Why does everything thats supposed to be good have to go wrong, even if you least expect it?
Why does everything going perfectly normal take a weird U-turn and go the other way round to screw everything one has planned?

If you think about it, this happens with every aspect of a person’s life, I dare anyone to name me a situation where everything went on as planned, it never happens! Just like Christmas/any other holiday plans, you never end up where you wanted, when you wanted, or how you wanted. Something has to go wrong. Same with relationships, existing relationships, or plans for something new.

I guess the only way out is either sudden death, or acceptance. And either ways aren’t possible for me right now, I guess my last resort would be sitting in a dark corner in my room either crying or killed by the silence of the moments…

Welcome Home Sanitarium…

I guess that it has been really too long since I’ve written the last post, and since, so far, no one reads the blog because its poorly advertised, I didn’t think it was so important to add another note before actually getting a new connection. You might have missed some facts in the past month, like: me being in Ukraine, not having a connection for a month, suffering in med school, having a weird new life in a university hostel, and so much other shit that can’t be put down.

I also think that I’m writing this post because I miss writing the blog, but I actually have nothing to say. Its because its not like a personal diary or something, its just some shit that gets into my mind, or some stuff that I find while roaming, but at this moment, no ideas are popping into my mind, and I’m not roaming or surfing the internet to find something new. I guess this is a useless post after all, but maybe this will be the beginning of getting this blog back to life. And I’m keeping the VerveEarth.com news to a later post, that would actually have some meaning. In short, my blog has been selected to represent Egypt in this site, for some reason. I didn’t get to any details on that yet, but I will soon.

Nothing else much, maybe in some time I’ll have the brains to write other posts, but for now, thats just about it.